Barking Dogs

I am a hot house flower when it comes to feet comfort. Love foot massages and SENSIBLE SHOES (all caps for my sisters and mom). I lived the life of typical suburban housewife- drive everywhere: walk from car to store/home/school back to car and so on. Exercise on bike/gym, occasional hikes, but stationary bike is most common form of exercise. Fast forward to current reality... we walk everywhere. And I mean every.where. We're about a mile from the MRT (subway) so even if we take mass transit we hoof it to get to the station. School, grocery- all walk. It's great exercise, but my feet are not used to this. At all. Every cute pair of shoes I brought is back in a box to go to CA with a coworker of Chris- I simply can't wear them. Orthopedic oxfords will be covering my bloody stumps until it's warm enough to replace them with Birkenstocks. Go ahead and mock. I will laugh with you. But I won't change my shoes.

All of our walking and exploring has led to a few laughable taxi rides. My go-to rescue if my mental map fails is to grab a cab (never leave home without the Mandarin name/address where you're headed- cab drivers are notoriously un-English-speaking). My phone is still a pretty paperweight unless we're in the apartment so map is non-functional when we're out and about. Twice we've flagged cabs, sure we're completely lost, only to give address to driver and literally go around the corner to our destination. A US dollar and change for the fare. American cabbies might just beat a rider for that.

I had fantasies for weeks about my freight shipment with the foot massager arriving. It came yesterday! I'm typing with the piggies wiggling on the massager at this very moment. The neighbors beneath us must wonder what on earth is going on in our apartment (it's an industrial-strength foot massager.) I don't care what they think- that foot massager will allow me to keep living in a city!

We moved into our apartment early this week. It was such a delicious luxury to unpack and start settling in. I made the largest IKEA run I'll likely make until Claire goes off to college. Random items have been a challenge to find: a spoon rest for next to stove while cooking, ice cube trays, door stops. Nothing we can't live without, or repurpose something else. But it's easy to lose half a day trying to track something down that would take you three minutes to find at your local Target. You almost get quest-y about it; gotta find it once you start.

I had insisted on an apartment with a dishwasher. Turns out, when most people don't have a dishwasher- local stores don't sell dishwasher detergent. Just found that soap after days of doing them by hand. And I didn't even think to ask for a garbage disposal... that was a big oopsie. I feel like I'm scraping into the slop bucket for the pigs like Grandma Gable did at the farm. (It's actually an ingenious built-in bucket with self-closing lid when you open/shut cupboard door. And a special trash area in maintenance.)

And I missed several items you just have in a kitchen that you don't even think about until you're cooking- can opener, wine opener, tongs, dishrags. We'll get there, but it's been kinda like camping indoors this past week.

Eating at home has been fun. En route to school we walk past outdoor markets for produce/meats and a bakery for bread. You really just get ingredients for a meal or two at a time. We have discovered some amazing fruits/vegetables that I've never before seen. It's fascinating to try to get non-English speaking market owners to help you figure out how to eat some of them. Peel? Cook? Whole? And that's the fruit- don't get me started on chicken feet displays.

We have found slivers of Americana-grocery at various markets around town. Precious tortillas and refried beans were discovered. And cheddar cheese. With that, no one in the Karr family would starve. We make lots of fresh veg and salads. The produce is just amazing here. The limes are oddly juicy- one or two will make a Jennifer-sized margarita. Often you can find products that we used in CA but packaged very differently- sour cream in a pouch. So you have to shop carefully. And beans are prepared for desserts. Same dried red/black/white beans as CA - just in the dessert aisle and prepared very differently when cooked.

I'm discovering an affinity for military time- easy to know am/pm instantly. I still feel a bit like I'm on the set of MASH reporting at fifteen hundred for something. Another interesting tidbit is how quiet the city is- you'd think millions of people living atop one another would be noisy. I haven't heard a dog bark since I moved. Or a leaf blower. And the garbage trucks chime classical music- we thought it was ice cream trucks available 24/7!

The weather has been lovely. If Chris hadn't broken his face last weekend (he's healing very nicely btw), we should have been out in the best weather to-date. In the span of a day, you'll typically want short sleeves, rain coat and parka. It gets colder in the afternoon as the wind picks up. I keep thinking I want to shed layers as the day goes on- it's the opposite. But when I say parka, I'm being facetious- it's about as cool as it gets in Lake Forest. Clearly folks here are used to very hot weather. If you picked up all the locals on any random block and plopped them down in Vail in January- they'd look appropriately dressed. We're out in light jackets but locals here are wearing puffy down coats/mufflers/gloves/boots. It's disconcerting to check outdoors before leaving apartment- can't tell what we'll want to wear by what you see on others on the street. 

It's hard to be patient and let things evolve. When you've spent years building a comfortable social life, it's what you know, it's familiar and you take it for granted. We're beginning to make this feel homey but there are aspects that will simply take time. Folks are very friendly- but becoming real friends takes some time and shared experiences. I feel like Veruca Salt- I Want It NOW Daddy!! That aspect of a move is hard. We're so used to check/double checking our calendars and coordinating evenings/weekends... now it's wide open and quiet. No time-consuming activities/sports/friends- ugh! They even do the baseball practices right after school so it doesn't run into evening family time. Imagine! But all we have is family time- good thing we like one another!

Chinese New Year is looming. A week off school/work when we're just getting settled into a routine is not high on my Happy List right now. In a perfect world, this holiday would hit in another couple months. Oh well. I'm trying to figure out activities for us to do. We've got to experience what locals do for CNY and see what Taiwan has to offer. But she'll have the outfit for it!

Miss Manners

I wonder what on earth foreign visitors to my home find amusing that we consider so normal. Cause I got a giant list of unusual that I've observed here:

Full grown, well-dressed, professional-looking adults digging to their knuckles for good green nose-stuff. Wiping it on tissue, but definitely doing the dig. And not too discreetly.

The worlds' tiniest napkins at every table- cafes to fine dining. But every meal has wet wipes provided as soon as you sit down.

Warm water served with meals. Really- I watched them hot it up before bringing it to us at dinner this evening.

Many of the girls at Claire's school wear cat-ear headbands. Perhaps because there isn't much room to have their own pets, they become the pets. This is not the same observation as the incomprehensible obsession with Hello Kitty.

We are the quickest diners at every meal. Always. Even when we try to slow down, visit with one another and pace with the locals.

Carpooling is never particularly simple- coordinating multiple busy schedules with multiple drivers, but I've never had to deal with the question of sharing carpool when the kid has a chauffeur. Does one still ask about carpooling? I'd guess not but golly - we have two kids on our (3 apartment) floor who go to the same school at the same time. Share their driver perhaps? Stay walking, more likely.

Every day at the hotel with our clean towels we get new slippers. I've used just one pair since we arrived and there's about 12 pairs piling up. Perhaps a prompt from housekeeping to change them out and not be such a barbaric American? Housekeeper probably goes home telling stories about the filthy CA woman who never changes her slippers.

Folks here are prompt. I'm always on time, I'm just wired that way. But when I get to places on time, my appointment contacts are always waiting on me. It's divine!

I never realized how delightful it is having a bidet with a water temp adjuster. (PS Not a single flood yet and no crawling under the potty to turn it off!) Still not the greatest fan of the damp derriere- just don't quite get the attraction if there's nice, fluffy Charmin available. But if you're gonna bidet, cold water is not the way to go.

Private school reality is very, very different from CA public school. I got an emailed heads-up that the kids were going to the movies tomorrow; no fees, no permission slips. Just a description of where they're headed and why and email to contact if any questions. Huh. I get the no-fees since that should already be covered with tuition but I love the presumption here that the professional educators can actually take care of my kid whether in class or elsewhere & to trust their judgement on selecting appropriate subject matter for outings... wow.

I'm curious to see how Claire rolls with her birthday party this weekend with her new friends. One interesting difference is the inclusion of the child's favorite charity in the invite- encouraging a directed donation over a birthday gift. Golly, I wish I new the kid/circumstance better to understand if it's a (possible pretentious) adult perspective or if that's really how it's done here (or both!) And it'll be fun to get a peek into how a local family apartment actually looks since I've just seen empty models.

Christmas decorations don't come down. The decor gets swapped out end of December for New Year's Eve then gets swapped again late January for Chinese New Year which is in mid-February. Hotel lobby entrance got spruced up today!

So lots of new cultural things to process and adapt to, or at least tone down any glaring mismatches. And snicker quietly to ourselves.

Grumblina

Today was my allotted day to be sulky and crabby. Grrrr.

My phone is still not working properly, even after adding the exorbitant international package we compromised with, adding it to our existing US plan until our immigration cards are finalized and I can get a local phone. I have full access to texting and internet as long as I'm in the hotel room, where I don't need my phone. Grrrrr.

I went to pay for Claire's activities at school and AmEx not accepted at TAS and my debit card didn't work. I'm forced to walk around paying for things with a pile of colorful paper (aka Taiwanese currency), sorting through it at cash registers like a half wit. Grrrr.

Go to pick Claire up at school and it's hot. Hot enough to make me flop sweat. Everywhere. And it's January. I'll be fully liquid by April. That'd be less awful if every single other person waiting in the lobby at TAS wasn't a willowy, gorgeous, smoothly cool-looking fashion plate of a human being. Except the truly foreign looking nannies. I'll hang with them, not speaking Mandarin either, but also sweating. Grrrr.

I did one load of laundry and I'm dumbfounded by these machines. It's not just the buttons in Mandarin- the hotel staff helps with that- but I've had a load drying for literally four hours and it's still damp. I always air dry with no heat at home. Trying to do that here (remember the Great Laundry Horror of earlier this month?) but to no avail. Now I have damp clothes spread out over two hotel rooms. Grrrrr.

And missing the national championship with no local watching resource available. But who really wants to watch the game alone on a Tuesday morning anyway... Grrrr.

And husband exasperated with my technological problems and having to actually work hours away in his office... Grrrr.

In the interest of better mental health I will now force myself to think of something good. Or try.

Claire had her first Mandarin lesson at school, taught me a couple words and we practiced on the hotel staff. They didn't laugh at us (at least before we left the room).

My hair looks great in all this humidity.

Thank goodness for a kindle, loaded with distraction from all the hassles of life right now.

That's all I got today. Promise to try harder tomorrow when my grumpy wallow day has passed. But one more for good measure - Grrrrrrr!

TAS journey begins!

Claire started school today. First days make me weepy under regular circumstance and this is certainly not very regular. Her teacher's name is Mrs. Fox, we'll call her Mrs. Fox IV since Claire had a beloved Mrs. Fox at Lake Forest Elementary for first grade. I'm proud that I managed to keep my tears hidden until she'd trotted off with her assigned escort for the day. She was happily chatting and singing while prepping this morning, ate a big breakfast and was skipping while we walked to school. A bit of quiet hand-wringing just as we went in, but the worst is over- first days/first entries are nerve-wracking, even when folks seem excited about you. School starting makes this very startlingly real. And Chris is going in for his first office day today too. It appears this is going to be life here, not vacation.

The Lower School counselor caught us as we were leaving. He introduced himself and spent time making sure we had everything we needed as we're settling into life here. He created and passed along a great local area map with good restaurants and local shops to find American items we might miss. There was enough detail in his knowledge of Claire to show he'd spent considerable time with her application and records; it was reassuring. The counselors spend a session with each class every other week, working on character study. Their current subject matter is healthy conflict resolution. It'll be interesting to hear Claire's feedback on what they teach.

We're handling our family emotional health pretty well. Any travel is sometimes challenging. A move is work. Foreign exploration adds a layer of complexity. We're got our work cut out for us. We made an internal agreement that only one of us is allowed to freak out at a time so if someone's having a hard time, you just have to wait your turn. It's worked out pretty well so far. Learning to be patient (or at least quiet) when you're tired but have to stay up, hungry but can't find food, crowded but can't have solitude... all good life lessons. We've set our bar pretty low right now- managing basic subsistence with a few sight-seeing outings is our goal. School and work routine will help set the bones to our schedules. Until we are settled into our apartment, I'm basically rattling around. Good thing I've loaded my kindle with lots to read! It'll be nice to get some structure to our routine even tho it will all shift around in a couple weeks when we're in our home.

But it feels good to get a couple more "firsts" checked off the list. We will never again arrive in Taipei for a first time, or go to class for a first time, or ride the MRT, commute to the office, etc... with each "first" passing we get more familiar, make this more home. Here's to more seconds!

Sunshine in Taipei!

Get work permit then get Alien Resident Card - Easy! Get a visa! Wait, what’s a visa? Is that something different or are people using it synonymously with work permit or ARC? Does one need the first to get the second? Or third? Can an immigration lawyer ever answer one simple, direct question without prompting 824 more questions? 

Got here, entered Taiwan. Now it appears the dufii (that’s plural for dufus) who first checked us in and reviewed our tickets and papers at airline ticketing at LAX then the brother dufus who sent us to the Diplomatic Line at Immigration at the Taipei airport (perhaps that should have been a red flag to us?) both made mistakes and now it appears we shouldn’t quite be here yet. We require round trip tickets to be here without ARC in case they find a problem and need to send us home. Easy- again, you say? Just get a ticket home with changeable dates- you say? Sure! Except they require you release your passports to Taiwan Immigration for the processing of the ARC and we can’t quite leave or purchase international flights (aka: any flight out of Taipei) without them.

It’s funny how adamantly opposed to letting go of those little blue books we are. Chris and I have both got the notion traveling abroad that they are some sort of lifeline back to a land where someone will come get you, fight for you, make sure you don’t stay buried in a collapsed building, make national news fairly easily (812 dead on a ferry in Singapore will get the rolling CNN ticker, while the 3 Americans scratched in a bombing in Egypt lead US national news). But we can roll when we need to and if they require the passports- our passports they will get; after I scan and take 23 copies of them.

We needed copies, scanner, FedEx to send passports, etc... so went into the Western Digital Taipei office. Wow, turns out that coming into an office with the highest ranking employee in the country makes things happen. Two very gracious expat-handling Human Resource godsends spent about two hours with us, went through everything in detail, sent emails for us to our attorneys in NY and Hong Kong (try to explain that one to me), reviewed our Chinese contracts, and generally reassured and personally shepherded us through the process. I've always been partial to the folks in the trenches who do the actual work- they typically know the system better than the partners and are more keen to get things DONE not just move the piles. That was true today and it feels we're back on track with our immigration issues. And they didn't take our passports- they assured us we can meet at the WD office while a Taiwan immigration official reviews them there when ARCs are ready.

The traveling-with-celebrity feeling continued when we left WD to go to TAS to introduce Claire to the school and get her assessment testing done. The Lower School principal and counselor both mentioned to Claire that the kids in her class were excited about Claire's arrival, but I figured they were being polite and it was adult-speak. Golly, now I know what the Beatle's manager felt like! We went up to the classrooms just before dismissal which was good because as soon as we were outside the door we heard a couple excited gasp-y screams, "There she is!!" and the girls came pouring out into the hall, surrounding Claire and introducing themselves, literally jumping up and down. The teacher sorted through all the kids and pointed out who Claire would be "assigned" to the first few days. Erinn is a blue-eyed blondie who was born in Taipei and has been at the school since preschool. Claire left TAS pretty encouraged that this just might be ok.

And we came outside to sunshine! It's been June-gloom every day that I've been in Taipei (November exploratory trip also). You don't realize it's impacting your disposition until that big, yellow orb shows and your mood lifts (immigration and TAS starting success contributed a bit too, of course). I'm sure I'll rue the sun in the heat of summer but it really felt good this afternoon.

We found a small boutique hotel very near Claire's school and our future apartment and will move this weekend. It appears we'll be another week - ten days until apartment is ready so the Westin with 25 minute cab ride to/from TAS isn't practical. It'll be nice to start getting familiar with the Tianmu neighborhood.

It's odd- folks keep referring to the honeymoon phase of an international relocation where you're just excited, it's all new and you're living like tourists. Perhaps it's because I'm a planning nest-er with no control over planning and no nest yet to feather, but if this is the honeymoon excitement... ugh. We are lucky if we have the energy and emotional bandwidth to do one outing a day. There's a sense that we don't have to pack everything in like on a vacation, but can relax and pace ourselves. And also a sense of exhaustion because we're trying to take in everything in a very different way than we would just visiting a place. Keeping track of driving directions in taxi, beginning to learn the Mass Rapid Transit system, speaking carefully to communicate clearly, looking out for restaurants/shops/services we'll need nearby home and school- all mental processing effort, all the time. We get back to hotel late afternoon, collapse and order room service.

I think I'm perhaps too aware of all that needs doing over the next months to feel honeymoony but my enthusiasm and interest is growing, not fading as we spend more time here. The people are lovely- very considerate and kind. Everyone dresses quite posh, very European feel to attire. (Although I did see my American sweats-wearing mommas at TAS pick up; they might be my new besties next week). The city is a study in contrasts- urban sprawled up a against jungle, western high rise next to exquisitely detailed Buddhist temples, Gucci boutique across from street market. There's a lot to explore and learn and we've got the time to do it! 

Wise Friend

Thursday. Dead of night.

Expat buddy had cautioned me that keeping expectations low will help to keep frustrations low too. Trying hard today to do that. I use "today" in the most literal sense only as it's an hour and 47 minutes into Thursday but I'm wide awake.

The blondes and I handle time-change and jet lag very differently: they wanted to plow thru the afternoon and go to bed for the night at 6:50pm. We were all exhausted so I capitulated, got several hours of sleep and here I am ready for my day in the middle of Taipei night. I'd prefer an afternoon nap, stay up late local time to get in the saddle here, then sleep normally. No definitive answers that work for all, but this surely isn't working for me.

Long, tedious day of decorating decisions yesterday. As carefree as we're trying to be about the apartment, it was discouraging to see it yesterday- there's tile work going on with a new tub, serious cleaning needed and paint was just selected so existing walls looked awful. Hard to believe we'll be in within a week and we were hoping for the weekend before Claire starts school. That's clearly out of the question.

The furniture is custom made for us which was unexpectedly lovely (thought we'd be stopping by the local Cort Rental to pick everything) but won't arrive for a month or so. Gotta love Made in Taiwan! We'll have basic pieces delivered once apartment is ready so we can function but won't be able to really nest until our selections arrive. Claire had a great time choosing everything. It's fun to see her opinions and rationale on what goes together. When something was a bit funky and she explained it- most of the time it made perfect sense. Chris did draw the line at the raspberry pink giant sectional. I think (hope!) Claire was messing with him.

She FaceTimed home with several friends yesterday. On vacations in the past she has never asked to do that, so it's clear she's painfully aware this is monstrously different. Several times a day she calculates the time change and figures what her classmates are doing. Her desire to stay connected with folks at home is keen and hurts my heart a bit. I'm anxious to get her into school and socializing. There were 33 new students in the lower school added over the holiday break so she won't be the only New Kid. But they all started early this week and she's a week delayed (at least). We'll attend a parent orientation at Taipei American School (TAS) Friday morning and she has assessment testing in the afternoon- smack in the worst part of the jet-lagged day. Super. TAS has two lower school counselors and we meet with them as part of the transition and orientation process. They are aware of our recent move and I'm hopeful they will be valuable resources for us and keep an eye out for her.

With all the erranding we've done, there hasn't been much fun yet. Today I'm planning on our behaving like tourists. It's been mostly logistics thus far and I'm feeling like we need an injection of some enthusiasm for this process. I'm discouraged that the settling into apartment won't happen as quickly as desired and I need a perk up! When my loves awake we're going to the 101, or a museum, or the Grand Palace or or or!! Just some fun today.

It turns out the errands still needing attention are on hold anyway- getting a work permit is only the first step. We thought we were done, but that only allowed us to enter the country without a return ticket through a much shorter customs line. We need an Alien Resident Card to do the banking, lease a car, get a phone etc... so we're on hold with those chores for another 7-10 work days. We are two bright adults, with a cadre of immigration attorneys hired by Western Digital and this process is still unbelievable involved and convoluted. I simply cannot imagine navigating this on our own initiative. It's hard when you don't know what you don't know. We appear a bit Forrest Gump- hauling around this sheaf of papers and cluelessly handing our sloppy stack over when folks ask for our ARC, which is truly a little card like a driver's license. We were given more clear direction yesterday on next steps for that card, which we hope is the last piece of our immigration puzzle. It's no wonder folks are illegal aliens - doing it properly is pain in the Bèihòu

We're explored some new foods yesterday: saw smoked chicken feet but were too chicken to try, ate some fabulous dumplings, tried unusual fruits that looked alien... then, Outback Steakhouse for lunch. As Chris reminds me: let's go for a soft landing here, plenty of time to expand and enjoy the new locale and reminders of familiar home things are precious. He's right, of course, but I mocked him anyway. We are all trying to keep a sense of humor and had an amusing moment when we turned around at furniture place and Claire was sacked out on one of the couches in the middle of choosing material.

We had our first odd "we're the foreigners" incident and oddly- it was mine, not the blondes. Walking down the street, middle of crowded sidewalk in the financial district near the Westin and a middle-aged, professionally dressed man walking toward us barked once at me. Loudly. According to my very proficient Mandarin he either called me a horse, mother or hemp. We all kept walking and pretended like it didn't happen. So bizarre. No one around us flicked an eyelash.

The familiar and foreign is present everywhere. The large Christmas trees are still up in hotel lobby but now decorated with New Years decor. Our translator said that folks will decorate soon for Chinese New Year even tho it's in later February. The early decorating bug isn't just American! The Westin concierge has cards to write on your new year's wish then hang on the tree. Claire's wished us to have a safe, happy and healthy 2015- couldn't agree more!! More later~